I think one of the amazing things about relationships are the phases that they go through. You often start deeply in love, and then, over time, you move onto different phases.

Psychologists say that the first phase of love relationships is the "oceanic love" phase. This is where it is all about the two of you being together all the time. You are merged. You think about your partner a lot, you want to spend all your time together, you feel connected and deeply in love. Congrats! This is a marvelous phase that gets things off to a powerful, intimate start.

However, unfortunately, this first phase can't last. We all like to romanticize and think it will, but it doesn't. If we stayed in the oceanic love phase, we would be unable to work and have difficulty moving on with our life goals. We would become an entangled mess.

So, nature moves us on to the second phase, which is me/us. We start to think about our own goals and friends in the process. We want some alone time. We want to work on our own interests. We enjoy the relationship, but it is no longer the be all and end all of our happiness.

This is a phase where couples get in trouble. Women think "is he losing interest in me?" Men wonder if they are losing their luster with their mate. Small to big fights can happen here. If you don't navigate this carefully, you end up leaving your mate, who just weeks before was your one true love!

A second important factor for keeping true love is to understand that there needs to be a balance between giving and receiving. You can't do all the giving or all the receiving. You both have to give and take. If you don't, you will kill off true love.

Another vital factor to keeping true love alive in your relationship is to play. The less play in your relationship, the less true love you will feel over time. Too often we let the responsibilities of adulthood push the play out of our relationship.

Do you play with your mate on a regular basis? Do you spend some time doing things together that you both enjoy? Do you have a date night once a week? Research has shown that the more play the less conflict between partners. So focus on play and reap the rewards. Here is some relationship help to remember!

True love, then, requires some focus and attention. If you do not give up when things get tough, if you give some time and attention to play in your relationship, you can actually keep true love alive. That and keep learning more about it and you can keep it alive with your mate.